Hi, my name is Jeremy, and I'm a colossal fuckup.
Okay, maybe "colossal" is a bit harsh. But, I'm a fuckup nonetheless.
It's okay, though. I've made my peace with it.
Much like a bike or a horse rider who has fallen off, it's up to the individual to saddle back up and ride.
And that's the point behind this blog.
See, a few months ago, I started this blog to chronicle my journey in my new life-changing endeavors. And up to this point, there's been a minute change to my life. Most noticeably, is an uncanny ability to avoid blogging in this forum in order to avoid the well-deserved criticism for letting my goal slip further and further away from me.
Alas, I cannot do this anymore. Part of the whole reason for starting this blog was to hold myself accountable, and to allow my readers to do the same to me. It's pretty telling when I have people off the street ask me "How is MMA going?", only to have to begrudgingly tell them, "I'm starting it at the end of this month," or "I'm starting it when we're done working on this movie", or any number of excuses. And, make no mistake about it, that's exactly what they are - excuses. Now, to a degree, they may even be valid excuses, and lord knows my world has been pretty goddamned rocky the last few months, and if all of you knew half the shit I had dealt with, you might even say, "You're right to take a few months off from this endeavor."
But that don't mean it's the right attitude to have. In fact, quite the contrary. While things in my personal life were floundering (and in same cases, downright IMPLODING), I should have used the time and energy and focused like a fucking laser beam and became a workout and diet MACHINE. But, I digress.
We all have triggers. It's something we learn about in the Weight Watchers meetings. My triggers are depression, loneliness, anger, stress, and rage. I have a lot of all five. But, I'm working on them. In fact, the MMA workout may be just what I need.
This morning (or rather, yesterday morning, since it's now 2 am on Thursday), I woke up, and forced myself to do 5 minutes of kettlebells and 5 minutes on the elliptical. It may not sound like much, but one of the MMA instructors who I receive emails from (yes, I've made contact with a couple of schools, and I do converse with a coach or two) says even doing just five minutes of day of SOMETHING is better than nothing at all. So, I did that little workout, and it flat out KICKED MY FUCKING ASS. And it felt great to do it.
As of right now, it's been well over 24 hours since I had caffeine. Dealing with a bit of a withdrawal headache, but I'll survive.
In the morning, I'll do another five minute kettlebell workout, and another five or ten on the elliptical. I even purchased myself an exercise mat today so I don't have to do stuff on the nasty floor in my house when I actually get to the advanced kettlebell workouts, like turkish get-ups. Also, I picked up a pair of 12 pound dumbbells just for variety's sake.
I'm considering trying out Georges St. Pierre's new workout routine called RUSHFIT. It's pretty INSANE. It's akin to the P90X and INSANITY workouts. Go check it out at www.gsprushfit.com sometime. For those of you who don't know, Georges St. Pierre (or GSP for short) is one of the premiere MMA fighters in the world. He's in the UFC, and is the current UFC Welterweight Champion. The man is a BEAST. He's damn near unstoppable, and has been a force to be reckoned with. He's a dominator. Not many in his division can hang with him. So, he's definitely a huge inspiration. I may check out RUSHFIT sooner rather than later.
And, I'm about to bite the bullet and FINALLY go check out an MMA class. May even join finally.
Until next we meet, parting is such sweet sorrow.
TFG.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A month and a half of setbacks...
Okay, so I'm going to keep this short and sweet. For all you loyal readers/followers, I want to say this: YES, I still fully intend to keep up with this blog. YES, I still fully intend on doing MMA training. And YES, I still fully intend on getting in better shape and better health. Some of you may know that the last month and a half has been a living nightmare for me. I won't get into the dirty details, but some of you know them already anyhow...
So, I've suffered a couple of minor and a couple of major setbacks to my goals. No matter. Gotta shake it off and start anew. And I'm going to.
I hope you can all be patient with me. No one is more frustrated at my lack of progress than myself. And, sad to say, I've been my own worst enemy during this time. Gotta right the train back on the track.
And that starts....
...now.
So, I've suffered a couple of minor and a couple of major setbacks to my goals. No matter. Gotta shake it off and start anew. And I'm going to.
I hope you can all be patient with me. No one is more frustrated at my lack of progress than myself. And, sad to say, I've been my own worst enemy during this time. Gotta right the train back on the track.
And that starts....
...now.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
5.8 + 2.4 = A man fondling a set of balls.
Hell-o again...
So, as of this writing, I'm now a little over a week into my newly rededicated dedication (wow... redundancies are awesomely awesome) to the Weight Watchers program, and I can honestly say that I'm taking ass and kicking names at it... Wait...
We had our weekly weigh-in yesterday, and thanks to the new program, and the workout I've been doing thus far, as well as cutting cokes almost completely (in fact, to date, I've only slipped the once and had a coke that one day. The other days, I've limited myself to ONE SPRITE) out of my life........ I'm 5.8 pounds LIGHTER!!!! I'll pause for a moment while you clap and hoop and holler in excitement...
...Okay, okay, enough. You're starting to embarrass me. And you look silly genuflecting to a computer screen.
Seriously, though, I'm proud of this accomplishment.
On top of the whole Weight Watchers thing, I began doing the elliptical every morning and evening. I had picked up an elliptical from a friend (Hi Cliff and Mandy!), and finally started giving it its own workout. I can now do 1.2 miles twice a day, though I've started incrementally increasing the tension and trying to beat my time, add a little distance, etc. Little bits here and there, naturally.
And in addition to all of this pleasantness, I had a lovely visit to the doctor yesterday. I haven't gone in for a routine check-up in a very long time, and the doctor let me know about it. Heh. Oops. So, we chit-chatted for a while, and I told him why I was there, and he was pretty shocked I told him I was wanting to try MMA. He said, "Great workout, but I'd never do it. Good for you!". And, when he found out I was doing Weight Watchers again, he applauded my efforts.
Anyhow, everything pretty much checked out. Heart rate was good, lungs were awesome, EKG looked normal, etc. They drew some blood, but I won't get those results back for a while. They're running the diabetes test, since I told him about the recent possible hypoglycemic incident. He again applauded me for taking steps in the right direction. And then he asked me to drop trou. Wonderful. First person to see my balls since the wife left and it's a friggin' doctor. No matter. He's a professional, right?
Interesting side-note. The flirty nurse's assistant (who was cute, mind you) said she worked at MY FIT FOODS nearby. She suggested I check it out sometime (actually she said, "Come in and see me sometime". Brown Chicken. Brown Cow.). They apparently have a section for Weight Watchers Points food. Good deal!
So there you have it. That's where I'm at right now. Gotta wait for the blood test results to come back before I can continue making strides in this journey, but until then, I'm keeping on the straight and narrow with the Weight Watchers and the elliptical. Soon, I'll move into doing some kettlebell workouts. Those look like a BITCH AND A HALF. And I need it.
So, as of this writing, I'm now a little over a week into my newly rededicated dedication (wow... redundancies are awesomely awesome) to the Weight Watchers program, and I can honestly say that I'm taking ass and kicking names at it... Wait...
We had our weekly weigh-in yesterday, and thanks to the new program, and the workout I've been doing thus far, as well as cutting cokes almost completely (in fact, to date, I've only slipped the once and had a coke that one day. The other days, I've limited myself to ONE SPRITE) out of my life........ I'm 5.8 pounds LIGHTER!!!! I'll pause for a moment while you clap and hoop and holler in excitement...
...Okay, okay, enough. You're starting to embarrass me. And you look silly genuflecting to a computer screen.
Seriously, though, I'm proud of this accomplishment.
On top of the whole Weight Watchers thing, I began doing the elliptical every morning and evening. I had picked up an elliptical from a friend (Hi Cliff and Mandy!), and finally started giving it its own workout. I can now do 1.2 miles twice a day, though I've started incrementally increasing the tension and trying to beat my time, add a little distance, etc. Little bits here and there, naturally.
And in addition to all of this pleasantness, I had a lovely visit to the doctor yesterday. I haven't gone in for a routine check-up in a very long time, and the doctor let me know about it. Heh. Oops. So, we chit-chatted for a while, and I told him why I was there, and he was pretty shocked I told him I was wanting to try MMA. He said, "Great workout, but I'd never do it. Good for you!". And, when he found out I was doing Weight Watchers again, he applauded my efforts.
Anyhow, everything pretty much checked out. Heart rate was good, lungs were awesome, EKG looked normal, etc. They drew some blood, but I won't get those results back for a while. They're running the diabetes test, since I told him about the recent possible hypoglycemic incident. He again applauded me for taking steps in the right direction. And then he asked me to drop trou. Wonderful. First person to see my balls since the wife left and it's a friggin' doctor. No matter. He's a professional, right?
Interesting side-note. The flirty nurse's assistant (who was cute, mind you) said she worked at MY FIT FOODS nearby. She suggested I check it out sometime (actually she said, "Come in and see me sometime". Brown Chicken. Brown Cow.). They apparently have a section for Weight Watchers Points food. Good deal!
So there you have it. That's where I'm at right now. Gotta wait for the blood test results to come back before I can continue making strides in this journey, but until then, I'm keeping on the straight and narrow with the Weight Watchers and the elliptical. Soon, I'll move into doing some kettlebell workouts. Those look like a BITCH AND A HALF. And I need it.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Adventures in Weight Watching...
Greetings, programs... Or something like that.
Welcome back.
So, today marked the second full day I've had with the new Weight Watchers program, and I gotta say, it took a little getting used to. I know on the surface it's not drastically different from the old way, but there are subtle differences, and if you're not careful, you can royally screw things up. Thankfully, since the first day was a bit of a bust, I was able to plan things a bit better for the second day. It's not perfect, mind you, but it's a start. Baby steps, remember?
It's supposedly common sense (ever notice how uncommon "common sense" really is?) that it's better to eat 5 or 6 smaller meals in a day than the traditional 3 meals in a day, and, while it's completely true, for most people it's just not physically possible, due to schooling, or work, or what-have-you. In my case, since my day job involves working with my family (even working at my father's house), I'm able to take a few liberties with my eating habits, and am able to snack throughout the day. I'm not to the point where I'm snacking on apples or oranges, but I'm making better choices. Again, baby steps.
Today I tried to go a full day without a soft drink. Didn't happen. That's okay. I'm human. I did, however, manage to only drink orange juice (with pulp, and no acid - two key things I've read are crucial to a healthy drink) for the first part of the day, a single Sprite with lunch (granted, not as healthy as I could have done, but it's certainly better than Coca Cola, and has no caffeine, so I don't retain water), a Sobe Lifewater (Black and Blue Berry) for most of the day (I tend to sip throughout the day while I'm working), a Kool-Aid (single serving Cherry in a 10 oz bottle of water) with dinner, and I caved and had a Coke when Tyler and I went out.
As I mentioned, my buddy Tyler and I went out earlier. Usually we just hang out, play video games, watch movies, or whatever. Tonight, though, I told him I wanted to go to a store and get some supplements to help with the diet and the workout. Of course, I'm completely ignorant of these things, so thankfully he took me under his wing. Instead of opting to go to a chain like GNC (who are concerned more with commission than your health), we went to a locally owned Nutrition Depot, and he introduced me to his buddy Tanner, who seriously has a wealth of knowledge about food and vitamins, and the way the body works, that just impressed the hell out of me. He hooked me up with a bomb-ass discount on some Muscle Milk, and a multi-vitamin that will help burn off some of this excess fat even before I begin an intense workout regimen.
Speaking of which, I made my doctor's appointment today. I go see Dr. Morrison on next Tuesday at 2 pm. Wish it was a little sooner, but I'll survive. When I spoke to his receptionist about it, she asked my reasoning for the appointment, and I replied, "Just a general check-up. I'm fat, and I'd like to know before I start a new workout routine if I'm going to keel over and die." It got a good laugh. Good. I enjoy making people laugh. :)
After Tyler and I finished up at the Nutrition Depot, we headed out to one of the local MMA schools I'd been researching online. Unfortunately, due to a ridiculous amount of traffic that impeded our progress to Nutrition Depot, we wound up arriving at the MMA school as they were closing up. I did step in and take a quick look around, and did get a schedule from one of the workers there. He also told me that they do a free trial at the school, so I can try it out before deciding if I really want to join. After we left there, we went to another school I'd been researching, but, it too, was closed. So, it was kind of uneventful, but at least now I know where the schools are, and I can make an attempt to visit both of them again soon and check them out more thoroughly.
Today while I was looking around on Facebook, I saw a friend's page, and remembered he had been doing something similar to myself, in that he hit a brick wall, and decided to take control of his life and his health, and chronicle it as much as he could. I saw that he had posted a picture of himself after he had lost 50 pounds, and he was still over 300. That picture was in May. His most recent picture was from a couple of days after Thanksgiving, and he was down to around 269. That's impressive. And, that's just further proof that it CAN be done. So, thanks, Sam.
And with that, I shall bid you all adieu. Sleep calls. I gotta start trying to go to sleep earlier and try to wake up and get some cardio in on the elliptical in the mornings before work.
Baby steps. Baby steps.
Love you all.
TFG.
Welcome back.
So, today marked the second full day I've had with the new Weight Watchers program, and I gotta say, it took a little getting used to. I know on the surface it's not drastically different from the old way, but there are subtle differences, and if you're not careful, you can royally screw things up. Thankfully, since the first day was a bit of a bust, I was able to plan things a bit better for the second day. It's not perfect, mind you, but it's a start. Baby steps, remember?
It's supposedly common sense (ever notice how uncommon "common sense" really is?) that it's better to eat 5 or 6 smaller meals in a day than the traditional 3 meals in a day, and, while it's completely true, for most people it's just not physically possible, due to schooling, or work, or what-have-you. In my case, since my day job involves working with my family (even working at my father's house), I'm able to take a few liberties with my eating habits, and am able to snack throughout the day. I'm not to the point where I'm snacking on apples or oranges, but I'm making better choices. Again, baby steps.
Today I tried to go a full day without a soft drink. Didn't happen. That's okay. I'm human. I did, however, manage to only drink orange juice (with pulp, and no acid - two key things I've read are crucial to a healthy drink) for the first part of the day, a single Sprite with lunch (granted, not as healthy as I could have done, but it's certainly better than Coca Cola, and has no caffeine, so I don't retain water), a Sobe Lifewater (Black and Blue Berry) for most of the day (I tend to sip throughout the day while I'm working), a Kool-Aid (single serving Cherry in a 10 oz bottle of water) with dinner, and I caved and had a Coke when Tyler and I went out.
As I mentioned, my buddy Tyler and I went out earlier. Usually we just hang out, play video games, watch movies, or whatever. Tonight, though, I told him I wanted to go to a store and get some supplements to help with the diet and the workout. Of course, I'm completely ignorant of these things, so thankfully he took me under his wing. Instead of opting to go to a chain like GNC (who are concerned more with commission than your health), we went to a locally owned Nutrition Depot, and he introduced me to his buddy Tanner, who seriously has a wealth of knowledge about food and vitamins, and the way the body works, that just impressed the hell out of me. He hooked me up with a bomb-ass discount on some Muscle Milk, and a multi-vitamin that will help burn off some of this excess fat even before I begin an intense workout regimen.
Speaking of which, I made my doctor's appointment today. I go see Dr. Morrison on next Tuesday at 2 pm. Wish it was a little sooner, but I'll survive. When I spoke to his receptionist about it, she asked my reasoning for the appointment, and I replied, "Just a general check-up. I'm fat, and I'd like to know before I start a new workout routine if I'm going to keel over and die." It got a good laugh. Good. I enjoy making people laugh. :)
After Tyler and I finished up at the Nutrition Depot, we headed out to one of the local MMA schools I'd been researching online. Unfortunately, due to a ridiculous amount of traffic that impeded our progress to Nutrition Depot, we wound up arriving at the MMA school as they were closing up. I did step in and take a quick look around, and did get a schedule from one of the workers there. He also told me that they do a free trial at the school, so I can try it out before deciding if I really want to join. After we left there, we went to another school I'd been researching, but, it too, was closed. So, it was kind of uneventful, but at least now I know where the schools are, and I can make an attempt to visit both of them again soon and check them out more thoroughly.
Today while I was looking around on Facebook, I saw a friend's page, and remembered he had been doing something similar to myself, in that he hit a brick wall, and decided to take control of his life and his health, and chronicle it as much as he could. I saw that he had posted a picture of himself after he had lost 50 pounds, and he was still over 300. That picture was in May. His most recent picture was from a couple of days after Thanksgiving, and he was down to around 269. That's impressive. And, that's just further proof that it CAN be done. So, thanks, Sam.
And with that, I shall bid you all adieu. Sleep calls. I gotta start trying to go to sleep earlier and try to wake up and get some cardio in on the elliptical in the mornings before work.
Baby steps. Baby steps.
Love you all.
TFG.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Bringing everyone up to speed (which is currently 20 mph below the posted Speed Limit)
Hello again. Well, hello again to those of you who have decided to take this journey with me. Hello for the first time to you lucky few who are just joining us.
I started this blog with the intention of chronicling my every step in turning my life around. The MMA training is of course just a means to an end. Many of you have asked me why I chose MMA, and "When is your first fight?", etc. etc. Let me just clarify something here: I'm not joining up in an MMA class so that I can beat the snot out of someone. Nor am I joining it to learn "...how to kick ass". Rather, I recognize that there are some flaws in my character (both internally and externally), and I'm making a conscious effort to make some changes. MMA is just a way for me to channel some aggression and get into a workout routine that isn't going to bore me to tears.
Obviously, before I begin this new fitness routine, I'll have to take some other measures. The last thing I'd want to do is to jump into it half-cocked, so I'm going to be doing my research. There's several MMA classes in my area, and I'm going to go to several of them to observe classes so that I can get a feel for what's involved in the training, see how the school is run, see if there's any other guys like me in the class, etc. This is what we call HOMEWORK. :)
Beyond that, I realize there are health issues to be concerned with. As stated in my last post, I'm possibly hypoglycemic, or perhaps even diabetic. I will be making a phone call in the morning to a physician so that I can make an appointment to get a check-up, etc. Gotta make sure I'm healthy enough to do the training, no?
Of course, I'm also not going to just jump into a workout routine, regardless of how much fun it may look like. I'm severely out of shape, and I'd like to make sure I don't drop dead during the first class, so I will be altering a few things before that. Namely, my diet.
Like I said before, fast food (particularly Ultimate Cheeseburgers) is the bane of my existence. Coupled with that, my affinity for soft drinks (particularly Coca Cola) is also a detriment to my health and this workout. So, I'm going to be drastically altering my diet. I've tried it before, with a little bit of success. Now it's just a matter of seeing it through to the end. That end hopefully being a much slimmer (or at the least, a much leaner, meaner) Jeremy.
Tuesdays are Weight Watcher days. Now, I know what you might be thinking. Yes, I've been a Weight Watcher in the past, and yes I had success with it. I've also been a Weight Watcher consistently for nearly two years now alongside my brother. We go every Tuesday to get weighed in, joke with the little old ladies, and then head off to get lunch. Unfortunately, going to Weight Watchers and weighing in does NOT equal success. You have to FOLLOW the program to get results. And, since I'm not pulling any punches here, I haven't followed the program strictly for a good long while now. I won't make excuses here. I just simply got lazy. And, as a result, I'm not ten pounds HEAVIER than when I started the program almost two years ago.
The good thing about this new attitude of mine is this: tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow also starts Weight Watchers new "Points Plus" Program, which means I'm going to be re-learning how to do everything on the program anyway, so it's perfect timing. I spend tonight re-learning the program, learn the new tricks and tips, and apply that to my new attitude and hopefully my new workout routine. The new Weight Watchers program is quite a bit different from what I'm used to doing. Whereas in the past I was allowed 44 points a day (due to my size), I'm now allowed 71. I'm going to have to sit down with these books and learn just what this new point system is. Oh well. It's all part of reinventing who I am.
Just so you get an idea of WHY I'm taking this journey, I want to share a story with you. This past weekend, I went with my family to see a Houston Texans football game. I knew it was going to be a little difficult on me, but I wanted to go. Of course, the cold, hard fact of me being fat and out of shape was SMACKED into my face several times during the course of the day. First, I wanted to buy a Texans Jersey. I found one I liked, and it was an XXL. Unfortunately for me, I wear a XXXXL. Yes, that's a FOUR-X. Most people don't believe me when I tell them, but it's true. Sad, but true. Now, football jerseys' sizes are actually a bit weird, as they're made to accommodate shoulder pads, etc., so an XXL in this case is about the right size. I tried it on. It was a bit snug around my love handles, and I was depressed. I bought it anyway. And I wore it the whole game... with a jacket over it to hide my embarrassment. Getting to our seats was just brutal. We went up four escalators (the fat man's friend), and then had to walk up several flights of steep stairs to our seats. They were "nosebleed" seats, but in that stadium, there's really not a bad seat. Of course, that's a matter of opinion. View-wise, they were good. Comfortability-wise, not so much. See, being a Fat Guy, the arms of the chair essentially dug into my fat thighs the whole game. It was made worse by the fact that I couldn't keep my phone in my pants pocket, as that would have crushed it between my thigh and the seat. Joy. By the end of the game (which the Texans won, by the way), I was pretty miserable. The escalators going down, however, were being monitored (due to congestion), and as a result, we got to WALK DOWN several ramps to get to the bottom levels. And then when we got to the parking lot, we got to WALK to our car. By the time we were ready to leave the stadium, my legs were so sore, I could barely drive. I literally had issues using the gas and brake pedals. Clear sign something's wrong, no?
And then, to top it off and make my day that much more humiliating, I came home with the intentions of resting for a bit, and meeting some friends for a few drinks. Instead, I sat on my couch, and promptly passed out until midnight, when I awoke in a panic thinking I had overslept. Hate it when that happens.
Now, onto other things. I started this blog to hopefully entertain you, entertain myself, and also give you a little insight into how my brain operates. Most people only know one side of me, and that's the side of the lovable perv filmmaker who is always there when a friend needs it. However, there is a much, much darker side to me, and obviously this is the one that I'm going to be exposing here in this very public forum. Now, I don't mean dark in the sense that I'm going to start sacrificing goats or small children, but rather, I'm going to let my insecurities out into the light a bit, and share with all of you the inner pain that I've felt for years, and maybe it just may echo something you've experienced as well.
Beyond all of this, this blog is about one thing: ACCOUNTABILITY. See, with it being in such a public forum, I have little to no excuses when I either don't post a new blog, or if I fuck up and get off track with my diet or my workout routine. I can sit and be angry at myself all day long, and tell myself I need to stay on track, but with this journal online, other people can keep up with me, and maybe help right the train back on the tracks should I have a weak moment or nine.
So, in an effort to be as raw and real as possible, I'm going to do something now I didn't think I would ever do, and if you're squeamish, you may want to turn away.
I'm going to post a topless photo on here.
Now, I realize it's not pornographic, but not a lot of people want to sit and look at a fat man's gut. I know I certainly don't. And the reason I'm going to post it is because I want to show the world what I'm working with, and what I'm trying to get rid of. Who knows? Maybe this will inspire someone else to be brave and bold, too.
So... without further ado....
Ta-Da! The Fat Guy.
Hopefully I can post more photos as a chronicling of my progress soon.
So, to recap, I'm making a doctor's appointment in the morning for a checkup to make sure I'm healthy enough for any sort of strenuous workout. And tonight, I'm going to fix my dinner (healthIER naturally), and perhaps do a little bit on the elliptical before watching some more Ultimate Fighter.
Or maybe Dexter... Hmmm...
Until next time. I love you all.
TFG
I started this blog with the intention of chronicling my every step in turning my life around. The MMA training is of course just a means to an end. Many of you have asked me why I chose MMA, and "When is your first fight?", etc. etc. Let me just clarify something here: I'm not joining up in an MMA class so that I can beat the snot out of someone. Nor am I joining it to learn "...how to kick ass". Rather, I recognize that there are some flaws in my character (both internally and externally), and I'm making a conscious effort to make some changes. MMA is just a way for me to channel some aggression and get into a workout routine that isn't going to bore me to tears.
Obviously, before I begin this new fitness routine, I'll have to take some other measures. The last thing I'd want to do is to jump into it half-cocked, so I'm going to be doing my research. There's several MMA classes in my area, and I'm going to go to several of them to observe classes so that I can get a feel for what's involved in the training, see how the school is run, see if there's any other guys like me in the class, etc. This is what we call HOMEWORK. :)
Beyond that, I realize there are health issues to be concerned with. As stated in my last post, I'm possibly hypoglycemic, or perhaps even diabetic. I will be making a phone call in the morning to a physician so that I can make an appointment to get a check-up, etc. Gotta make sure I'm healthy enough to do the training, no?
Of course, I'm also not going to just jump into a workout routine, regardless of how much fun it may look like. I'm severely out of shape, and I'd like to make sure I don't drop dead during the first class, so I will be altering a few things before that. Namely, my diet.
Like I said before, fast food (particularly Ultimate Cheeseburgers) is the bane of my existence. Coupled with that, my affinity for soft drinks (particularly Coca Cola) is also a detriment to my health and this workout. So, I'm going to be drastically altering my diet. I've tried it before, with a little bit of success. Now it's just a matter of seeing it through to the end. That end hopefully being a much slimmer (or at the least, a much leaner, meaner) Jeremy.
Tuesdays are Weight Watcher days. Now, I know what you might be thinking. Yes, I've been a Weight Watcher in the past, and yes I had success with it. I've also been a Weight Watcher consistently for nearly two years now alongside my brother. We go every Tuesday to get weighed in, joke with the little old ladies, and then head off to get lunch. Unfortunately, going to Weight Watchers and weighing in does NOT equal success. You have to FOLLOW the program to get results. And, since I'm not pulling any punches here, I haven't followed the program strictly for a good long while now. I won't make excuses here. I just simply got lazy. And, as a result, I'm not ten pounds HEAVIER than when I started the program almost two years ago.
The good thing about this new attitude of mine is this: tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow also starts Weight Watchers new "Points Plus" Program, which means I'm going to be re-learning how to do everything on the program anyway, so it's perfect timing. I spend tonight re-learning the program, learn the new tricks and tips, and apply that to my new attitude and hopefully my new workout routine. The new Weight Watchers program is quite a bit different from what I'm used to doing. Whereas in the past I was allowed 44 points a day (due to my size), I'm now allowed 71. I'm going to have to sit down with these books and learn just what this new point system is. Oh well. It's all part of reinventing who I am.
Just so you get an idea of WHY I'm taking this journey, I want to share a story with you. This past weekend, I went with my family to see a Houston Texans football game. I knew it was going to be a little difficult on me, but I wanted to go. Of course, the cold, hard fact of me being fat and out of shape was SMACKED into my face several times during the course of the day. First, I wanted to buy a Texans Jersey. I found one I liked, and it was an XXL. Unfortunately for me, I wear a XXXXL. Yes, that's a FOUR-X. Most people don't believe me when I tell them, but it's true. Sad, but true. Now, football jerseys' sizes are actually a bit weird, as they're made to accommodate shoulder pads, etc., so an XXL in this case is about the right size. I tried it on. It was a bit snug around my love handles, and I was depressed. I bought it anyway. And I wore it the whole game... with a jacket over it to hide my embarrassment. Getting to our seats was just brutal. We went up four escalators (the fat man's friend), and then had to walk up several flights of steep stairs to our seats. They were "nosebleed" seats, but in that stadium, there's really not a bad seat. Of course, that's a matter of opinion. View-wise, they were good. Comfortability-wise, not so much. See, being a Fat Guy, the arms of the chair essentially dug into my fat thighs the whole game. It was made worse by the fact that I couldn't keep my phone in my pants pocket, as that would have crushed it between my thigh and the seat. Joy. By the end of the game (which the Texans won, by the way), I was pretty miserable. The escalators going down, however, were being monitored (due to congestion), and as a result, we got to WALK DOWN several ramps to get to the bottom levels. And then when we got to the parking lot, we got to WALK to our car. By the time we were ready to leave the stadium, my legs were so sore, I could barely drive. I literally had issues using the gas and brake pedals. Clear sign something's wrong, no?
And then, to top it off and make my day that much more humiliating, I came home with the intentions of resting for a bit, and meeting some friends for a few drinks. Instead, I sat on my couch, and promptly passed out until midnight, when I awoke in a panic thinking I had overslept. Hate it when that happens.
Now, onto other things. I started this blog to hopefully entertain you, entertain myself, and also give you a little insight into how my brain operates. Most people only know one side of me, and that's the side of the lovable perv filmmaker who is always there when a friend needs it. However, there is a much, much darker side to me, and obviously this is the one that I'm going to be exposing here in this very public forum. Now, I don't mean dark in the sense that I'm going to start sacrificing goats or small children, but rather, I'm going to let my insecurities out into the light a bit, and share with all of you the inner pain that I've felt for years, and maybe it just may echo something you've experienced as well.
Beyond all of this, this blog is about one thing: ACCOUNTABILITY. See, with it being in such a public forum, I have little to no excuses when I either don't post a new blog, or if I fuck up and get off track with my diet or my workout routine. I can sit and be angry at myself all day long, and tell myself I need to stay on track, but with this journal online, other people can keep up with me, and maybe help right the train back on the tracks should I have a weak moment or nine.
So, in an effort to be as raw and real as possible, I'm going to do something now I didn't think I would ever do, and if you're squeamish, you may want to turn away.
I'm going to post a topless photo on here.
Now, I realize it's not pornographic, but not a lot of people want to sit and look at a fat man's gut. I know I certainly don't. And the reason I'm going to post it is because I want to show the world what I'm working with, and what I'm trying to get rid of. Who knows? Maybe this will inspire someone else to be brave and bold, too.
So... without further ado....
Hopefully I can post more photos as a chronicling of my progress soon.
So, to recap, I'm making a doctor's appointment in the morning for a checkup to make sure I'm healthy enough for any sort of strenuous workout. And tonight, I'm going to fix my dinner (healthIER naturally), and perhaps do a little bit on the elliptical before watching some more Ultimate Fighter.
Or maybe Dexter... Hmmm...
Until next time. I love you all.
TFG
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Pre-game.
This is going to be interesting...
As I'm writing this, it is 11:26 pm on November 27th, 2010. Let me just start by telling you a few things about myself.
Firstly, as the title of this blogspot suggests, I am a Fat Guy. Now, I'm not saying that to be cute, or ironic, or anything else. I'm literally fat. I'm over 350 pounds now. I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life, and I'm not happy about it at all. I've tried all of the fad diets. Most of them left me more pissed off than anything, and heading straight for Jack in the Box. For those of you that care, my weakness is Ultimate Cheeseburgers. At one point in my life (thankfully MANY years ago), I could eat as many as 3 a day. I don't know what it is about them. They taste decent (they used to taste better ten years ago, though), and they fill me up pretty nicely. But, I'll admit it: I'm addicted to them. I find myself unable to break free of their grasp, and it's going to put me into an early grave.
But, I digress. The whole point of starting this blog is not to whine or complain, or depress any of you who might be reading it. Let me get back to my introduction, shall I?
My name is Jeremy Sumrall. I'm 33 years old (34 in March), and, like I said earlier, I weigh over 350 pounds. I got married to a wonderful woman in October of 2008, and she left me in August of 2010. We're still legally married, but separated, and the lines of communication are GONE. Guess she's not so wonderful anymore. That's an OPINION, by the way, lest she find I wrote this and try and sue my ass for slander. Opinions are protected under the first amendment.
My father is a diabetic, and has been one for many, many years. He's on insulin, and he hates having to do the shots every day. His sister is also a diabetic, and his mother was as well. So, let's just say that diabetes is definitely knocking on my door. In fact, I dare say I could potentially be hypoglycemic. You see, just earlier today I was in Hastings doing some Xmas shopping with my brother, and I realized I hadn't eaten pretty much all day. I started getting nervous, and sweaty, and was having some issues with my speech. Classic symptoms of hypoglycemia. Of course, I'm not a hypochondriac, nor am I a doctor, and I've never been tested, so I cannot say for certain.
However, issues like this have arisen in the past, and today it really rocked me to my core. I don't know why today was any different than the other times it's happened, but it was.
Perhaps it's because just recently I discovered UFC. Now, I had seen Ultimate Fighting a few years ago, and it sort of bored me. I was a big wrestling fan when I was younger, and I even have a WWF tattoo on my left shoulder blade (it's a terrible looking tattoo; don't judge me!). That stuff was exciting. I couldn't stand watching Ultimate Fighting. It was 30 minutes of rest holds. Thank you, but I'll pass.
Of course, in recent years, UFC has exploded into this huge sport. I was still on my anti-UFC bandwagon up until a few weeks ago. My nephew, who is almost 18 now, has been training in MMA, and he loves it to death. So, he and my brother would sit and talk about UFC for hours, and they'd always say that I should sit and watch some and get into it. I'd of course brush it off, and sometimes even make fun of them for liking it.
A couple of weeks ago, I don't know what snapped, but I found myself watching a BEST OF UFC with my brother, and I got interested in it. Since that point, I've found myself thinking about it non-stop, buying tons of DVDs and Blu-Rays, watching seasons of The Ultimate Fighter, and even going so far as to download a UFC NEWS LIVE app onto my HTC EVO with Android. I guess you could say I have an obsessive personality. Again, don't judge.
So anyway, in watching all of this stuff, I'm seeing guys in peak physical form, and finding myself more than a little jealous. It's not necessarily all of the fighting and bloodletting that got me jealous, but moreso their workout routines. These guys train for ridiculous amounts of time each day, and sometimes even multiple times in a single day. And then they go into these fights and just pound the ever-loving snot out of each other, and are able to walk away and fight another day. That's impressive.
That brings us to the point of this blog. I'm nearly 34 years old, possibly borderline diabetic, over 350 pounds, newly separated from my wife, and basically I'm at a crossroads. I know something needs to change. Change is not going to be easy, but if I want to survive to see 40, I have to do something. I can't do it alone. And maybe this blog is my way of putting my story out there so that I can feel like I'm not alone, after all. Maybe it's just a cathartic way for me to put my thoughts into words so that I can look back on them and remind myself that I have got to do something positive for myself at this point in my life.
Or, maybe I'm leaving a journal as an epitaph for myself. I really would rather it not be the latter.
So... Here we go. Perhaps I'm taking the plunge. Time to do some research, and find out if I'm going to start doing some training to get in better shape for myself.
Because at the end of the day, I can only do this for myself.
As I'm writing this, it is 11:26 pm on November 27th, 2010. Let me just start by telling you a few things about myself.
Firstly, as the title of this blogspot suggests, I am a Fat Guy. Now, I'm not saying that to be cute, or ironic, or anything else. I'm literally fat. I'm over 350 pounds now. I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life, and I'm not happy about it at all. I've tried all of the fad diets. Most of them left me more pissed off than anything, and heading straight for Jack in the Box. For those of you that care, my weakness is Ultimate Cheeseburgers. At one point in my life (thankfully MANY years ago), I could eat as many as 3 a day. I don't know what it is about them. They taste decent (they used to taste better ten years ago, though), and they fill me up pretty nicely. But, I'll admit it: I'm addicted to them. I find myself unable to break free of their grasp, and it's going to put me into an early grave.
But, I digress. The whole point of starting this blog is not to whine or complain, or depress any of you who might be reading it. Let me get back to my introduction, shall I?
My name is Jeremy Sumrall. I'm 33 years old (34 in March), and, like I said earlier, I weigh over 350 pounds. I got married to a wonderful woman in October of 2008, and she left me in August of 2010. We're still legally married, but separated, and the lines of communication are GONE. Guess she's not so wonderful anymore. That's an OPINION, by the way, lest she find I wrote this and try and sue my ass for slander. Opinions are protected under the first amendment.
My father is a diabetic, and has been one for many, many years. He's on insulin, and he hates having to do the shots every day. His sister is also a diabetic, and his mother was as well. So, let's just say that diabetes is definitely knocking on my door. In fact, I dare say I could potentially be hypoglycemic. You see, just earlier today I was in Hastings doing some Xmas shopping with my brother, and I realized I hadn't eaten pretty much all day. I started getting nervous, and sweaty, and was having some issues with my speech. Classic symptoms of hypoglycemia. Of course, I'm not a hypochondriac, nor am I a doctor, and I've never been tested, so I cannot say for certain.
However, issues like this have arisen in the past, and today it really rocked me to my core. I don't know why today was any different than the other times it's happened, but it was.
Perhaps it's because just recently I discovered UFC. Now, I had seen Ultimate Fighting a few years ago, and it sort of bored me. I was a big wrestling fan when I was younger, and I even have a WWF tattoo on my left shoulder blade (it's a terrible looking tattoo; don't judge me!). That stuff was exciting. I couldn't stand watching Ultimate Fighting. It was 30 minutes of rest holds. Thank you, but I'll pass.
Of course, in recent years, UFC has exploded into this huge sport. I was still on my anti-UFC bandwagon up until a few weeks ago. My nephew, who is almost 18 now, has been training in MMA, and he loves it to death. So, he and my brother would sit and talk about UFC for hours, and they'd always say that I should sit and watch some and get into it. I'd of course brush it off, and sometimes even make fun of them for liking it.
A couple of weeks ago, I don't know what snapped, but I found myself watching a BEST OF UFC with my brother, and I got interested in it. Since that point, I've found myself thinking about it non-stop, buying tons of DVDs and Blu-Rays, watching seasons of The Ultimate Fighter, and even going so far as to download a UFC NEWS LIVE app onto my HTC EVO with Android. I guess you could say I have an obsessive personality. Again, don't judge.
So anyway, in watching all of this stuff, I'm seeing guys in peak physical form, and finding myself more than a little jealous. It's not necessarily all of the fighting and bloodletting that got me jealous, but moreso their workout routines. These guys train for ridiculous amounts of time each day, and sometimes even multiple times in a single day. And then they go into these fights and just pound the ever-loving snot out of each other, and are able to walk away and fight another day. That's impressive.
That brings us to the point of this blog. I'm nearly 34 years old, possibly borderline diabetic, over 350 pounds, newly separated from my wife, and basically I'm at a crossroads. I know something needs to change. Change is not going to be easy, but if I want to survive to see 40, I have to do something. I can't do it alone. And maybe this blog is my way of putting my story out there so that I can feel like I'm not alone, after all. Maybe it's just a cathartic way for me to put my thoughts into words so that I can look back on them and remind myself that I have got to do something positive for myself at this point in my life.
Or, maybe I'm leaving a journal as an epitaph for myself. I really would rather it not be the latter.
So... Here we go. Perhaps I'm taking the plunge. Time to do some research, and find out if I'm going to start doing some training to get in better shape for myself.
Because at the end of the day, I can only do this for myself.
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